Answer all questions frankly

You will always have to deal with other people having things

Written by Buddhist Guy

Published Nov. 15, 2019, 2:38 p.m.

From a friend of a friend:

I had to face something in my workplace. We were newcomers in a small town, and I started teaching in a pleasant school with friendly, welcoming colleagues. When I became pregnant with my first baby after a month, everyone was happy for me. In fact, four other teachers announced their pregnancies at the same time, though all the others were either actively unhappy or resigned at the prospect of another child. Fast forward nine months and our baby was still-born at 38 weeks. The other four had their babies easily.
When I was about to return to work about six weeks later, a very much older lady gave me an invaluable piece of advice, to avoid making things awkward for everyone, including myself. She told me to ask the other new mothers about their babies and generally answer all questions frankly. I followed her advice and it proved excellent. People felt relieved that they could be natural around me and they also asked all the questions that had been worrying them.
When my daughter was born two years later, they were all delighted. And I’ll always be grateful for that lady’s advice, which I’ve passed on to others in various awkward situations, from being widowed to calling off a wedding close to the date. To sum it up – set the tone of the interaction and don’t leave it to other people. They may mess up, not intentionally, but through not knowing how to handle an unfamiliar and awkward situation.
I’ve just re-read this and realise that I’ve left out the emotional side of things. All I can say is that you will always have to deal with other people having things you’ve lost or been deprived of, so try not to constantly compare yourself to them. Easier said than done, I know, but you have to manage it for your own sake.

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